My Personality Based on MBTI.

The following was an assignment I did for Psychology to describe myself based on Myers-Brigg Type Indicator. I got an A+ for this.

If anyone were to ask me to describe myself verbally as much as possible, I would spurt out one or two sentences only, followed by a long intense silence. Yes, I expressed myself more confidently and clearly to anyone in writing than verbally. This is evident that I lean more towards the Introversion preference in the first dichotomy of MBTI.

After going through several hours of critical and intense analysis of my past significant events in my life, I have finally affirmed myself with strong conviction that I most likely belong to the INTP category (and this was further ascertained by getting consistent result from taking several MBTI personality tests online. I was making sure my choice was sound and true). And thus also, the reason for my (somewhat unnecessary) need for the critical and intense thinking.

When I was at a very young age, I loved to question, and also to irritate people, the unknown, at least to me, and things which fascinated me a lot. Instead of singing along to “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, I interrupted my teacher by raising my right hand energetically to gain her attention, and then I asked, “… Mrs Guna, why does the Little Star twinkle?”. She smiled and answered me this, ”Oh, it’s because there ARE diamonds Muhsen!” ans she continued with the song. What a waste! My family would gain a lifetime of great fortune if I can plucked one of those out of the sky at night. So from then onwards, I inspired to become, not an astronaut, but a rocket engineer. But it did not take me long to realize she might have said this just to shut me up. My next step was to visit the library and did some reading on advanced stuff by myself. I came up with the conclusion that the stars twinkle because they were actually a ball of gaseous light, which constantly inflated and deflated at high speeds. I might had mixed up the facts somewhere because at that time, I did not really know how to read.

This self-initialization of research and analysis of almost anything that captures my curiosity and interests, be it also the paranormal, has been a norm to me ever since. But I am mostly interested on how the universe works. By the age of fourteen, I easily grasped the idea of Relativity and by sixteen, Quantum Mechanics. It was during these times, I have began to distance myself from my friends.

The number of days in a week I would stay back in school to play soccer with them slowly dwindled to none at all. I would prefer to be at home alone and find a creative, mathematical way to unify gravity with the three other fundamental forces of nature. I was known in my senior classes as the “Weird One Sitting At The Corner Of The Classroom Looking Out At The Window All The Time”. Whenever I looked out at the window, I must be thinking about a scientific fact or problem I would struggle to comprehend or solve. But being as awesome friends as they still are, they would not allow me to isolate myself from them that easily. They have the impression that I am actually a very nice person but simply shy. Many other people perceived it as their first impression of me.

I gain spiritual and mental strength if I spent time alone with myself at places I have strong emotional connection to or feel a presence of inspirational aura. It could be at a void deck of a specific residential block at some specific time of the day where anyone would rarely be around. Realization just dawned on me as I wrote this that I understood now why my energy would be drained so quickly in most of the days I worked at a retail store!

“Muhsen, you look handsome today.” My response would be, “Hmm. You mean all this while I was not? And what is it you want from me today?” I think she sincerely meant it and I had one less potential life partner to worry about. Sometimes unknowingly, my brain will automatically trigger into critical or doubtful mode and immediately recognizes the discrepancies in what anyone said about anything. I may be straight-forward but I may not necessarily convey my honest opinions or thoughts even though they are based on facts or logic as it may sometimes sound demeaning, insulting or may cause potential harm to my psychological being. There is no need for me to lie unless a dire situation requires me to do so. If most people often react with severe emotional outcome, sometimes with hostility, simply because they cannot accept the fact about themselves or are not open-minded enough to any principles or ideas, I might as well put those opinions in my head where it belong and be quiet. From an introspective view, this is one of the flaws of an INTP.

I now believe this is the reason why, in my entire life, I have only one serious relationship I value. And it lasted only about half a year. In my experience, girls (whom I come across at least) are turned off by guys like me, who often restrain articulating words to describe their emotions and feelings (and NOT because they are shy). And also guys who are utterly tactless when it comes to emotional support. On all occasions when a girl suddenly breaks down in front of me, I will choose to do one of the following; be still for a bit longer, hoping she will simmer down soon enough, continue with whatever I am doing, or simply walk away (of course, I now know they just need to shed tears on my $125.00 shirt).

I realized I am easily attracted to girls who not only share my profound insight of this world but who are also highly intelligent, like me, emotionally strong, and are able to speak out fluently about their thoughts and ideas all the time. So I did a bit of internet soul-searching and true enough, my ideal partner is an ENTJ. But they are a rare breed (I have a huge crush on Nicole Seah. She seems to have most of the traits of an ENTJ ♥).

I have also discovered that my biggest idol in life, Albert Einstein, is also an INTP! Though I may not be truly creative and ingenious like him due to my upbringing and the environment I am in, I hope to develop a game that will have a deep impact in people’s minds and be famous one day.